I can’t stand it when people sit there and tell you they understand what you’re going through.
No you don’t.
You don’t know what else I’ve been through in my life that effects how I’m feeling right now. You don’t know the roads I’ve traveled. You don’t know the things I’ve seen. You don’t understand. In a way, no one does and no one ever will.
I have hit the most horrible patch of depression. It’s worse than anything I’ve ever felt before. So I get asked the same questions.
“What caused it?”
“Why do you feel like this?”
“Can’t you just get over it?”
Trust me. If I could just ‘get over it’ I would. It’s not like I enjoy feeling like this. It’s not like I enjoy crying because I messed up on something I was painting. Or crying because of the color orange. Literally crying over everything.
But you don’t understand. You don’t understand how my entire body aches. You don’t understand that I feel that tingle in my stomach, the one you feel before you cry, constantly. You don’t understand how alone and secluded I feel. You will never understand how I feel. You may have felt something similar but you’ve never felt this. You’ve never been in my shoes.
I’m an insomniac. And all I want to do is sleep. All I want to do is curl up and cry myself to sleep. I cried today because Walmart didn’t have wooden paint stirring sticks. I just want to sleep. I just want to sleep away all the emotions and tears.
My head hurts. My eyes hurt. Everything hurts.
nikgee said:
I just happened to come by.It has been a ways.This post caught my eye.so I thought I should reply..I like reading your words it set my mind to thinking. Your words are straight up and real. And You don’t need all the rhetoric and bull shit to say what you want to say..You know you are right I could never truly know what you are going through. Maybe there is some consolation you could never truly know what I am going through. So here I stand outside Looking in. I have no answers, advise, and don’t totally understand what is happening with you. I would blind and totally numb not to realize your pain.It is frustrating to know I can’t fix it What I can do is walk with you a while. Talk, laugh, cry, or just walk along. I am there to listen and to let you know someone cares….If I’m off beat I wish you the best. The offer always stand. I’m a blog page away.
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gumibear09 said:
Your kind words touched my heart.
I try really hard to be straight forward with how I’m feeling. I don’t feel an abundance of empty words is necessary…
Thank you very much
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nikgee said:
My pleasure remember I am always open for conversation. If nothing else an ear to listen.😎
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